Jer and I had a very interesting conversation last night. We talked about expectations we have for our children, we discussed how mean children can be to one another and how callus and intolerant we become of others. Jer shared a story with me about a man he worked with at Thriftway (in high school) the man was handicap, but still a very hard and happy worker. Jer told me how he used to tease him with some of the other employees and then one day it hit him that this is one of Gods children and how wrong he was to tease this man. He told me that from that moment on he made a strong effort to always be nice to the man. He shared how a few months later that man went in for surgery and never came back, something had gone wrong. Jer recalled how everyone at work felt awful for the way they had treated him, but Jer said he had no regrets because he had made an effort to be kind. Our discussion led us to how do we instill in our children to love and have compassion and patience for each one of our fathers children?
I know how my dad instilled it in me :) I recall driving with my dad somewhere and making fun of a girl on the street, she was dressed funny and her clothes didn't match...I got a swift smack on the back of my head, My dad explained to me that we have no idea what that girls circumstances are and that it doesn't matter what a person wears or looks like. I really took that lesson to heart and I feel like I have always made a great effort to be kind and not tease or belittle others.
Another lesson on this was when my I was old enough to start attending dances, my dad told me how much courage it takes a boy to ask a girl to dance and to NEVER say no, it didn't mean I had to date the boy. I am proud now to admit I NEVER said no when a Young man asked me to dance. I made very good friends with two boys that came to every stake dance and asked me to dance at every slow song. These boys were not my first choice of course, but I feel like other young men began to notice and would tell me they were impressed at how nice I was to these other two young men.
Back to Jer and my discussion: Jer and I realise we are not perfect at charity and love, but we want better for our children...How do we instill in our children how to love one another and to befriend those that have none? How do we teach them even at a young age to understand that words can hurt and that they need to share and be kind? Jer and I both feel like we want to make a great effort in teaching our children kindness and a Christlike love toward all mankind, but how do we do it? By example? and how do we know that once they are out there that they are "Choosing the right" and being kind?
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Lessons on friendship
Posted by Barkley's at 8:22 AM
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3 comments:
You're so right. It's such an important thing to instill in our children. We try to teach ours what's right, and when they make a mistake, we talk about it. At Elijah's age, he definitely knows what's right. Even when he makes mistakes, he is able to tell me what he did wrong, how he can fix it, and what he should do next time the situation arises. They learn from you, and then it takes practice to get it right. They will also inevitably be at the receiving end at some point, too. Elijah was teased one day at the playground. It was heartbreaking, but it taught him a good lesson, and I remind him of how that felt if he starts to tease or leave someone out (like today with Rogue...). Anyway, that works for us. We're still in the "practicing" phase (they are only toddlers afterall), but I'm confident that they'll get it figured out in time.
Stefani, I love your stories and examples of all on hoe wot be kind and loving. I will I am the first to admit that I slack on the niceness end. Although we can teach our children how to be kind toward other on the playgroud and have them watch as we serve others, which are all very good ways to learn. I think one of the most important wasy they learn love and kindness is in the home watching mom and dad. I think how parents serve and love eachother will make the largest impact. I have noticed that our family does not serve and love eachother enough. It can be the simplest of things. If we do it with love instead of being put out of our way our children will do the same toward their parents and towards their siblings. Just something we need to learn to always do. Unfortunately, my children have not grown up that way and we are not always kind and loving, but this is how I have seen other families who are stong in the gosple, but its never too late to start.
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